NIGHTMARES

Nightmares

so now i sit
today alone in my bed
i reflect on my life
and every single tear shed

was i just selfish
or did i aid the globe
these questions i ask myself
as i continue to probe

i started out as a misfit
but my life turned around
through some simple mistakes
that had sent me space bound

after my first years of life
i knew not where to go
high school years were now gone
my life was now in flow

then my life flashed before me
so many years had passed by
i was now eighty-three
and already set to die

i had hit a downward spiral
when the virus first hit
the economy soon after fell
but still i refused to quit

by the time we recovered
this world had gone to hell
nothing was near the same
the past like a fairytale

i've lived through so much
in such a very short time
so many questions unanswered
in this life lived out in rhyme

now i am an old man
my nightmares have come true
as my skin withers away
and emotions shine through

where is it i will go
is there a place after death
this i again ask myself
as i take my last breaths

i did not believe in god
was this so very wrong
and as my eyelids shut
i hear the angles song

but then i must ask
is this just my dying brain
i lived in a world of science
doubt had run through my veins

this is a different world
than when my life first began
so many different technologies
so many future plans

but now comes the time
where i must part from this earth
review all that i have done
from the moment of birth

so as my breath stops
and my eyelids close
i wonder what will occur
but sadly, realize i'll never know

-Carlos "House" Gerardo