REGRETS

Regrets

my tears stream
as i reflect on the past
an ocean has been wept
for one moment, so fast

memories are so clear
hell i remember his glare
she stood against the wall
terror in her stare

i walked onto the stairs
but she dare not twitch
still against the wall
held back by that bitch

this was my chance
i could have stopped it there
but it was not my place
to interrupt this pair

how much i regret
now one year in the past
something i could have stopped
if courage had been massed

i just walked away
leaving her to be bruised
crying against that wall
with a boyfriend who abused

i love her to death
she is now my best friend
but he's left her with scars
which she cannot mend

when someone gets close
she just pulls away
her fear often returns
with a look of fray

now even to this day
tears still come to my eyes
i can feel her pain
and emotions she cries

we are one in the same
this is our bond
i only care about
something which is so fond

she is my little sis
she is my heart and soul
she is my fucking world
but in my heart remain holes

each a black spot
for every time he touched her
something i could have stopped
had i not been deterred

now my heart is in pieces
how could have i left her behind
pinned against that wall
alone and in a bind

everyday how i wish
i could turn back the clock
just go back in time
and take away her shock

but this cannot be done
forever will my head swirl
everlasting are my regrets
in this infinite world

-Carlos "House" Gerardo

ANTI-VIRUS

the first shot has been fired, the question is, how will she respond.

Anti-virus

Vengeance, oh how bitter sweet, as one two, BAM, students compete

One has rep, the other flow, I stare her down and this she knows

But this is not what it’s about, but I still laugh, watching her shout

Takes it for hers, haha, no chance, I took more than just one glance

Screenplay is mine, based off cartoon, draw your gun, it is high noon

Ten paces back, to late you’re there, bullets in back, fired from stares

Angry tirade inside the crowed, yet you stand there a silenced sound

Speak but my words back me up, fingers, keyboard, call my bluff

No chance in hell, you’ll pull this off, with my words coming out as coughs

Bacteria spread by just your voice, now school wide, all but rejoice

Announcements, oh my god the hate, hearing your voice, we go irate

Screw swine flu, you are the plague, now your life lines grow so vague

Everyday, we feel the pain, blood boils inside our veins

But I don’t speak out just for me, but for others who can’t get free

So many speak, but cannot face, in front of you, a shattered vase

You see that it is just not I, but you’ve created this divide

Between soldiers, this battleground, boom boom bang bang, gunfire sounds

Anger bleeds out through our tears, we know the cause but feel no fear

Anti-virus for this plague, come on speak up, first move’s been made

-Carlos “House” Gerardo

TEARDROPS

Teardrops

tears ball up
i hold them back
sitting with friend
but i feel no slack

about to burst
but cannot here
inside this class
they'll mock my tears

poetry is
what gets me through
ha ha i laugh
what can i do

i grab my pen
holding my tongue
towards my head
are the pointed guns

russian roulette
bang bang one shot
six empty spaces
only one filled slot

with this space
comes the end of might
all will is gone
with reason to fight

life in itself
is a deadly game
but is it of yours
or others blame

the thoughts which
make me feel this way
no reasons but
somehow i fray

the voices AHHH
i want to scream
but can't think now
nightmares from dreams

-Carlos "House" Gerardo

TIDAL WAVES

this is also another for my stories, it is used to show my character at his breaking point

Tidal Waves

Anger, hatred, let me free, into this, one world, meant for me

pert of, the few, not let go, if on-ly, you could, see me flow

in this, harsh world, with high tides, waters, hiding, how i've cried

oceans, wept out, for my tears, lyrics, sprouted, eyeliner smeared

anger, hatred, let me free, into this, one world, meant for me

you see i, am a-bout to break, under, this shroud, oh so fake

some will, call it, human need, but watch me, as i, sit and bleed

cut through, my wrists, with this blade, time just, goes on, lifeline fades

anger, hatred, let me free, into this, one world, meant for me

i am part, of a, dead-ly race, the speed ra-cer, held in place

but the, whistle, has just blown, tires, flattened, cause unknown

they just, left me, right be-hind, expel, these thoughts, from my mind

anger, hatred, let me free, into this, one world, meant for me

trying to, catch up, with my fate, there is much, i need, to debate

i de-fine, my, lifelong path, drowning, within, my bloodbath

all these, cruel thoughts, fill my head, my mind, is al-ready dead

anger, hatred, let me free, into this, one world, meant for me

many, shun me, for my thoughts, when few, know how, i have fought

right here, just to, stay alive, want to, end it, still i thrive

nonex-istence, biggest fear, love to, breath, but hate to tear

anger, hatred, let me free, into this, one world, meant for me

with these, oceans, tidal waves, i stand, my ground, acting brave

courage, knowledge, all of these slide, knocked out, as this, wave collides

i write as, these were, my last jots, in a, world bli-stering hot

anger, hatred, let me free, into this, one world, meant for me

my heart, bleeds out, no more flow, but this world, will not, let me go

this is, how i, spend my time, expressing, my thoughts, through this rhyme

acting, as my, sharpened blade, cutting, my wrists, blood homemade

anger, hatred, let me free, into this, one world, meant for me

things change, so fast, over time, you will, never, see me shine

my life, has al-ready passed, my nu-ckles, impaled with glass

my strength, weakened, from these signs, my life, a dead-ly design

still i, sit here, bullet through head, did you not, realize, i was dead

these were my, last words, on this sphere..........who thought the, end would, be so near

-Carlos "House" Gerardo

RECOVERY

Recovery

her stitches removed
after so long she smiles
her flow has improved
as her heart sits a while

how glad i am to see
that the wise girl is back
letting emotions free
but allowing no slack

this is her life again
for so long taken away
by an ignorant zen
who had so much to say

everyday he would bitch
just day after day
falling into a ditch
giving her no reason to stay

one year of hell
yet it was not a waste
she has seen the darkness
and taken a taste

straight from the glass
the elixer has been drunk
causing her to crash
the moment heart sunk

by the fires of hell
it was a heated year
yet she still felt a bond
which brought nothing but drear

she felt months of sorrow
for one moment in time
when yesterday was tomorrow
her smile just shined

but now it has returned
it has regained its shape
retaking its harmony
on its own without tape

there is still a break
but it heals with speed
revealing how much it can take
as it lets her not bleed

it took her some time
but her life now goes on
emotions captured in rhyme
when her days are long gone

inspiring poetry
her life is all but bland
by the name if Elizabeth
one of the few lives lived grand

-Carlos "House" Gerardo

SHATTERED

Shattered

a broken heart
it once beat loud
now it is in parts
deafening the sound

picking up a piece
the feel of shattered glass
a cut creates a crease
you have missed your pass

this girl is now gone
any chance you once had
you feel like a pawn
in a chess game so sad

the game already done
you were the last to go
your opponent has won
and your heartbeat has slowed

you just feel like shit
your hands fill with cuts
as rhymes become frostbit
and your mouth remains shut

but what would you say
you cannot oppose
one could speak out all day
but who are you to impose

you are but one boy
holding his very tongue
in front of her just a toy
with lyrics already sung

-Carlos "House" Gerardo

WE ARE HERE

and now another form the story, it is entitled we are here

We Are Here

we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

of the ghosts, from our past, when our present will not last

bigger fears, coming soon, as we reach out for the moon

but will we, ever teach, that it is now out of reach

we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

the sad truth, grabs at us, in a life we won't give up

we are damned, still we pray, in a world with much to say

not much left, that can reflect, but history filled with neglect

we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

of the future, we once adorned, but now we have seen its' horns

the devil has, come forth, yet we cannot go up north

due to our lasting goal, which turns fires to freezing cold

we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

weapons in hand, by our sides, yet on the ice we now slide

towards our fears, we now face, but we feel all but displaced

it was our choice, to stay in hell, despite the carnage yet to tell

we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

failed as one, lost as few, none of us know what to do

we all comment, one in the same, all of us are to be blamed

in this world, lost long ago, we put on an eternal show

we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

not knowing what, to do next, i translate this into text

these are our lives, written down, and spoken in bitter sound

once again, we sit close, listening for sounds of ghosts

we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

but soon days, end will come, either by a bite or gun

no matter which, we are all damned, cut short of gods' very plan

but we still live, yet what for, when we want a life no more

we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

now it boils, down to this, when we will take nobody's shit

fighting with, the very few, still clueless of what to do

yet we stand, guitar and pick, while holding all of our lips

we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

of a tyrant, the undead, all of these thoughts up in our heads

we have no choice, but to give in, that is why i grab my pen

one last choice, in this hell, that is truly lacking voice

we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

an echo, from the past, in days when our voice used to last

once again, we stand alone, our futures remain unknown

we envy those, who have met death, but we love life to last breath

kicking off, to the side, off those thoughts of suicide

we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

we are here, we are here, our home full of dread and drear

but at last, i close this song, hoping changes won't take long

because we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

so long it, often takes, come on god give us a break

we have lived, we've stayed strong, damn it what have we done wrong

over time, losing faith, in a world already replaced

the remnants, of a race, a species bent on one case

destruction, our goal was met, something we wish we could forget

we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

i hope to god, our goal will last, engulfed in the flames so vast

the fire has, grown so bold, and we may die of freezing cold

jackets on, gun by side, i'll just watch as we collide

we are here, we are here, living in a cold fear

in this dead world, we hold dear, fighting through this freezing fear

we are here, we are here, consumed by this cold and fear

we are here, we are here..........oh how i have held my tears

we are here, but not for long, i hope i will be proven wrong

-Carlos "House" Gerardo